Building Connections With Older Students

When I first started working with secondary students, I thought the hardest part would be getting them to speak English.

I quickly realised that the real challenge was getting them to feel comfortable speaking with me.

ESO students are at an age where they can be a little harder to read. Some will happily chat to you from day one, while others will barely say hello. I found that the best way to connect with my students was to stop worrying about making every class perfect and focus more on getting to know them.

Learn what they like

I started asking my students about the things they actually cared about. Music, football, Netflix, video games, social media, holidays, whatever came up.

It was amazing how much easier it was to get a conversation going when we were talking about something they were genuinely interested in.

I also started bringing some of these topics into my activities. Suddenly, an English speaking activity wasn't just another exercise. It was a chance for them to talk about something they already had an opinion on.

Remember the little things

Learning names was an obvious one, but I also tried to remember small details students had told me.

If someone mentioned they had a football match at the weekend, I would ask them how it went. If someone told me about a concert they were going to, I would ask about it later.

These little conversations made a difference. Students could see that I was actually listening to them.

Don't force it

Not every student is going to want to talk to you straight away.

Some secondary students are naturally quiet, and others might feel embarrassed about speaking English in front of their classmates. I learned that constantly asking them to participate wasn't always the answer.

Sometimes, giving them a bit of space and building their confidence slowly worked much better.

Have a laugh

One of the best ways I found to break down the awkwardness was simply to have fun.

You don't have to turn every lesson into a game, but laughing together and not taking yourself too seriously can make a classroom feel much more relaxed.

I also wasn't afraid to let students teach me things. They loved introducing me to words and expressions I had never heard before in Spanish, although, I don't like to use any Spanish in the classroom.

Let them get to know you too

The relationship shouldn't be completely one sided.

I talked to my students about where I was from, what I liked doing and what life was like back home. It gave them something to ask me about and made our conversations feel more natural.

I found that the more they got to know me, the more comfortable they became speaking to me in English. It built a genuine trust and with the older students almost a friendship.

Give it time

The students I connected with most weren't necessarily the ones I got along with immediately.

Some relationships took weeks or even months to develop. That’s completely normal.

Working with secondary students taught me that you don't need to be the most entertaining person in the classroom or have the perfect activity every time. Sometimes, simply remembering a student's name, asking about their weekend or having a quick conversation in the corridor can make the biggest difference.

By the end of the year, those small moments can turn into some of your favourite memories of being a language assistant.